its been a long time since i update. goin to be a mth or so. juz no feel to update, and lots of stuff happen recently. Just too much to say,idk, whats goin on my mind. PRESSURE? STRESS? of WHAT? idk.im just in a dilemia. i feel like crying out. when nobody is watching, cry as hard as i can. why? idk. life is just not smooth for mi. Relationship, money, studies. whatsoever. i just feel tht im a big time loser. be it life, game, relationship. If u are reading this, MAY, say its true and make mi feel better. No other meanings but just wnnna know how i look like to you. Can i change for the better? Am i too emotional? I just feel that im veri weak. Very very WEAK!



i have a fren tht suddenly asks mi. Fei, u gt XING SHI one meh? Cant realli see lei. You always laugh laugh lidat. And i start to ask myself back. Do i realli look like im carefree? Am i tht strong to hide away all my feelings when i am tired? Maybe a yes? maybe a No. Im weak. Strong on the outside but super weak on the inside. Why the sudden pressure within mi? I juz hope for someone i really love to stand by mi all the time. Watch mi fall and watch mi rise. Go through with me all the things that i encounter. Walk throught my life with me. Is it that hard to find the right one? Im thinking of you all the time. I may juz noe u for months but the image of you are always running through my mind. Im sick and tired of this life.


I so want to confess out what im trying to say. But i think its still early. And i don have the courage. The courage to get an answer that i always hate. WHY? because i cant accept to fail. To fall again. To have my heart broken again. This road is still long. I wanna walk with you throughout this year and hopefully the rest of my life. I know that right now studies is the most important thing. I just cant take it down that why cant we balance our life with work, studies, friends and love. Im sick and tired of this type of life. IM A TOTAL FAILURE. A BIG FUCKING FAILURE.